Let me get the regular review stuff out of the way quickly. Your hotel has a wonderful vista and the views over the water were just stunning on a bright early winter day. My room was ...
Let me get the regular review stuff out of the way quickly. Your hotel has a wonderful vista and the views over the water were just stunning on a bright early winter day. My room was a good size, well equipped and the bed was comfortable. During my stay, my only negative observation was that my bathroom had the faint but distinct odour that you might expect standing downwind of a sewage treatment plant.
This review takes a dramatic turn for the worst when I became one of your 70 guests that contracted a virus during the stay and became violently ill.
I am not a religious person but I have since thanked all the Nordic gods that my journey home involved a relatively short 60 minute drive rather than an extended trip by train or plane. After warmly greeting the family, my early feeling of mild indigestion grew steadily worse, and just before my wife began to serve dinner I weathered her dirty looks and hurriedly retired upstairs to the bathroom for the first of many extended visits.
By 9pm there was simply no more toilet tissue and my family were frantically tearing the house apart looking for soft paper products. My wife was dispatched in freezing temperatures to find the closest 7-11 to buy air freshener.
At 2am the vomiting started. Not since the day after my 21st birthday have I vomited so much, for so long or so loudly. My kids awoke terrified to what they assumed was Godzilla with a stutter roaring through the neighborhood.
At 4am I thought there was no more. For the first time that night I trusted myself to lay on a surface that wasn't cold tile and I fell into blessed, blessed sleep.
At 6:30am my exhausted wife wearily rose from bed to take a shower.
At 6:35am I discovered that spontaneous diarrhea is a real thing. Words simply cannot describe the expression on my son's face as he was greeted by the sight of his hero, his mentor, kneeling outside our bathroom door smelling as if he had stepped out of a sewer begging his wife to unlock the door quickly. He hasn't looked at me the same since.
Twenty four hours later and 9 kg lighter I was able to re-establish contact with the outside world. It was all over.
But wait. No, you have given me a gift that keeps on giving. After a brief respite, my wife became infected followed a day later by my son. Since returning from your hotel I have spent my time being ill, looking after loved ones who became ill, cleaning up bodily fluids, purchasing disinfecting and cleaning products, missing work, missing a big dinner celebration with friends and generally being miserable.
I would not wish this experience on my worst enemy. I regret to advise that I will not be recommending your hotel to friends or colleagues.